Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
