i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
there is glitter all over my balls
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
