Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i will never coherently bang her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
