The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
