Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're too hungover to prance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
