i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
