i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I didn't notice because vodka
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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