Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
