Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
