OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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