Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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