I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
