The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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