i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
