You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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