I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You did what with his pubic hair?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
