If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
