who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im just a social blackout drinker.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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