I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Enjoy the penises
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize