Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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