Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
