I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
