I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
