Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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