i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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