umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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