as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
