I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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