I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
