Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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