If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
