are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
