So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
