just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
