my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
