i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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