great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
