I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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