I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
