found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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