I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just google imaged poop.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
