It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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