He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
