Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
BRING THE BAGELS
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm like, not good at living.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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