I am puke
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
