I think my fart just growled at me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
