community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i think i have two assholes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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