What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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