i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
