This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
