and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The best revenge is premature balding
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
