with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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