so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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