in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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