dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
