Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
