Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
