Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
