I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize