If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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